syukur alhamdulillah

sebab tu lah mak selalu pesan, kita kena bersyukur je dgn apa yg berlaku. semua ujian yg Allah turunkan pada kita tu ada hikmah disebaliknya. biar org buat kita tapi kita jgn buat org. pepatah mak tu mmg sangat tak relevan dgn jiwa aku sbb bagi aku, mana boleh org asik pijak kepala kita? takkan kita nak buat diam je kena pijak dgn org? tapi betul lah cakap mak. Allah tu maha berkuasa. hari ni org dengki kat kita, esok lusa Allah akan bg kita happy. syukur alhamdulillah, musim kemarau yg melanda akhirnya berhenti. akhirnya doa dan hajat aku termakbul jugak. sikit sebanyak ada juga rezeki yg Allah curahkan.

tapi, aku amat2 bersyukur sebab aku dilahirkan dlm keluarga yg sgt penyayang, mendorong, tolong menolong & sanggup bersama2 dgn aku tak kira masa senang ataupun susah. tq Allah atas nikmat yg kau berikan padaku..

ujian Allah

dunia ni memang penuh dengan dugaan & cabaran. tu semua ujian dari Allah s.w.t.. setiap orang mesti tak terlepas daripada ujianNya. tahun ni, memang aku mendapat ujian yang bertalu-talu drpNya. lepas satu, satu Dia menguji aku. sebagai sorang manusia lemah yang tahap keimanan tak lah setinggi mana, aku memang kadang2 rasa tension tahap gunung berapi nak meletop, tahap gempa 100 skala rektor, tahap... tahap apa2 lah yang tak terkata lagi dah! tapi what to do? aku hanya mampu berusaha, buat apa yang terdaya, selebihnya aku doa & tawakkal je lah. tapi aku heran lah.. kenapa lah dlm dunia ni ada manusia yang berspesiskan cicak? sebenarnya, aku nak golongkan manusia ni dlm golongan binatang yg lebih keji dari cicak tapi takpe lah, tahap kesabaran aku masih ada lg sikit2. cicak pun dah cukup teruk dah, zaman nabi dulu kan cicak khianat nabi. so, oleh kerana manusia yg aku maksudkan ni kaya dgn sifat2 dengki, khianat & busuk hati, dia amat sesuai sekali digolongkan dlm kategori cicak. haiiihhh, zaman sains & teknologi ni pun masih wujud barberian. ambik tindakan tanpa memperdulikan undang2. takpe lah si cicak yang bangang, selagi kau ada kuasa & berjawatan ni, kau buatlah apa yg kau nak sesuka hati kau. Allah maha adil. harini kau kenakan orang, satu hari nanti kau yang akan terkena. masa tu, barulah kau tahu pangkat & kuasa kalau disalahguna, akhirnya kau takkan disanjung tapi akan dilambung, ditendang & dipijak2 sampai penyek. stupid barberian. *sighhhhh...* walaubagaimanapun, takpe lah. aku terima ujian2 ni semua dgn redha & kesyukuran. bak kata pepatah, 'tak jatuh, tak pandai'. so bila terjatuh tu, gagahkan diri utk bangun balik. kalau ada luka2 kecik akibat terjatuh tu, letak antiseptik, tampal plaster & paksa diri utk teruskan usaha & perjalanan. mudah2an, aku dijauhkan dari dugaan & ujian yang diluar kemampuan aku. amin...

10 april 2011

i thank to Allah swt for giving me such a wonderful in laws. they treat me like their own daughter. they love my children dearly. my father in law has been helping me picking up mukhriz everyday from school. thanks alot dear father in law for being so willing. both my in laws are such a great sport. they never bug into their children's personal life and they let their children be free to choose their own paths & make their own decisions in life.

last weekend, we celebrated my in-laws wedding 39th year anniversary & my father in-law's 63rd b'day.

happy anniversary to my in laws. happy birthday to my father in law.

satu april

hari ni mak & apak celebrate anniversary yang ke 49. walaupun tempat sambutan diorang tak begitu romantik tahun ni, diorang tetap together dalam keadaan susah senang sakit pening. aku wujud dalam hidup mak apak 16 tahun lepas diorang kahwin. selama 33 tahun aku hidup dalam dunia ni, mak apak sentiasa sediakan segalanya yang terbaik untuk aku. makan, minum, pelajaran dan kasih sayang. mak apak tak pernah pilih kasih atau ada unsur2 favouritism dalam membesarkan aku & adik beradik aku semua. diorang memang sentiasa adil & saksama. terima kasih mak & apak yang sangat2 aku sayang atas segala jasa & kasih sayang yang mak & apak berikan dalam mendidik & membesarkan aku. i love you both deeply & there's no one in this world that can ever replace you both.

al-fatihah

I received a sad news early in the morning yesterday. One of my staffs that had been hospitalized for two months finally returned to Yang Maha Esa. Wak Latif..

Arwah started working in my company somewhere in 2009. He was a loyal & dedicated man. I never thought that he would go because he was such a strong hearted person. But Allah knows what's best for him. Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat yang melimpah ruah ke atas roh arwah & semoga arwah ditempatkan dikalangan orang2 yang beriman..

You will be missed, Wak...

one year ago

It is fresh in my mind. the suspense, the moment, the pain, the tears and the happiness..

The suspense.. With my past experience of long labour due to big babies that i breed in my womb, my O&G estimated zarif's weight around 3.7kg 2 weeks b4 due date. So i chose to force him get out of my womb by going thru c-section 2 weeks b4 due date. That morning when the nurse in charged was preparing me for the c-sec, my heartbeat went wild and i was torn. I wanted to chicken out but i didn't wanna gamble and go thru another long labour. "God, is this right? Am i making a wise decision? Is it too late to back off?" Those are the questions that kept on repeating over and over again in my head when the nurse inserted a tube for urinating. And those questions made my heart gone even wilder when the nurse was wheeling me to the OR. it was a whole new experience for me bcoz my other half is not by my side like always.. At that moment, i knew that i made a terrible mistake that i'm gonna regret..

The pain.. i alwiz thot that my tolerance for pain is high. But how was i so wrong to think of that?! The pain of natural labour is great, undoubtfully.. But the painful labour ends immediately when we hear the crying sound of the gift from Allah. I didn't go thru another long labour this time tho, but i had to go thru a long long long post-op pain. The pain that hurt me physically & mentally bcoz i could not handle my baby as easy as it is supposed to be. I was in so much pain mainly bcoz i was having a bad cough that hurt the cut so badly. And my problem is i have low antibody that needs extra shots of medicine to relief me from sickness or pain. I asked for overdosed morphines but the doctor refused to give me what i wanted and gave me pain killers that didn't help that much. Well, that was the price that i had to pay..

The tears.. I cried alot after delivery. Tears of joy, tears of pain..

The happiness.. the painful experiment of my life is all worth it bcoz i have another special gift from Allah s.w.t. Syukur alhamdulillah. I'm so blessed to have such a cutie pie like zarif. He brought so much love, laughters and happiness to me and my family. He completes us. Thank you Allah for giving me this little dimples.

Happy birthday Zarif. Today you're 1. I love you and i'm anxious to raise you. You have been such a good baby, really cuddly and clingy. I feel so blessed and loved. And i love you back...

iPhone vs blackberry

i've been using blackberry for more than a year now and i juz love it. it's really handy. one thing i like about it is the fact that i get to open my emails anywhere i go and take action immediately even when i'm not in the office. but the best part of using my blackberry is when i get to keep in touch with my family & friends thru blackberry messenger (bbm). no matter how far i go, or my family goes, i will feel so near to them by communicating thru bbm. thank god for great information technology!
i heard many people say that apple products are superbly awesome. i never understood how it can be categorized as awesome bcoz the fact that its touchscreen only respond to the tip of your finger and not to your fingernails, i find that hard to accept due to the not-so-petite fingertips of mine. until recently, when my kekasih decided to get an iPhone4, he offered to me his iPhone3Gs. and i thot, well... why not? one thing about me is i'm crazy about gadgets. when i get new gadgets, i will explore them. and the mission to explore iPhone began immediately when i insert my sim card into the phone.

O M G !!now i realized how interesting iPhone is and i am starting to lurve it madly! access to facebook is so much better thru iPhone than blackberry. i can download many many applications thru iTune apps store. picture viewing is so much better thru iPhone.

however, i don't to sms or email thru iPhone though bcoz of the touchscreen keypad. blackberry still gets to be in my top ranking when it comes to emailing and text-ing. other than that, when it comes to multimedia, iPhone rocks!!! thanks kekasihku for giving me that wonderful gadget. the more i explore the iPhone, the harder for me to take my hands off of it.

and since apple has started to set foot in my heart, i considered to get an iPad and now i'm so anxious to wait for my iPad to arrive!! woohooo....!