kisah petang semalam

kelakar & kesian. semalam haziq merajuk besar dgn aku. sebab? hahaha... begini kisahnya...

semalam around 6pm when i was still at office, mukhriz called.
mukhriz: mama! i got a surprise for you..
mama: what3x?
mukhriz: my teacher told me that i will be pengawas pss next year.
mama: whats pss?
mukhriz: entah?!
mama: (in my head.. agaknya pusat sumber sekolah kot. ok lah tu librarian..) wow! congrats mukhriz. i'm so proud of u.

so lepas tu i took a piece of paper & scribbled some motivational quotes to congratulate him, and i insert 5 bucks in the so-called card.

balik rumah..
mama: mukhriz, this is for you.
mukhriz: (thrilled, excited, happy) YES!! 5 bucks!! tq mama. tq papa.
haziq: why u get money, abang?
mukhriz: bcoz i become pengawas.

aku pun terus masuk bilik for shower. *knock knock knock* on my door..
aku nampak kelibat haziq lari dari living room ke entah mana entah.
mukhriz: mama, haziq said he doesn't love u anymore and he wants a new mama.
mama: (huh?? what the? *blur mode*) Tell him, whatever. go la look foe another mother. (kengkonon nak merajuk kat haziq)
papa: pegi lah pujuk dia. entah2 dia merajuk tu.
mama: merajuk pasal apa pulak?

so aku pun keluar bilik & tanya mukhriz mana haziq. mukhriz kata haziq dalam bilik bibik.
true enough, muka dia masam gila & once dia nampak my face, dia tekap muka dia kat bantal (bantal bibik!) and he cried. pujuk bagai nak rak! dia juz geleng2 kepala bila aku tanya kenapa dia nangis. so aku menggagahkan diri aku, mengangkat haziq si tembamku dengan segala kedrat yang aku ada, bawak dia masuk dalam bilik aku. tanya punya tanya, soal punya soal, dia juz diam tak nak bgtau kenapa dia merajuk besar sampai menangis segala bagai.

mama: (ambik wallet & keluarkan 3 inggit) nah, haziq, this is for you.
*haziq ambik duit tu but still masam muka..
mama: haziq merajuk sebab haziq tak dapat duit eh?
haziq: (nod2x & terus bukak pintu nak keluar bilik)
mama: so haziq nak carik mama lain jugak ke?
haziq: (geleng kepala)
mama: (**!!?/,::*%@#!)

sunday @home

my little dimples, weef weef is not well. his mood swings from left to right, top to bottom. so we've decided to spend our sunday at home. i love spending my weekends at home now. and i love to spend loads of time in my kitchen doing one experiment after another.. *i used to hate stepping foot into my kitchen bcoz of very poor housekeeping by my ex-maid. but my new maid, a very clean lady takes good care and maintain my kitchen very well now.. so i enjoy cooking and baking in a clean, non sticky and hygiene kitchen*

for breakfast, i made serabai. can u believe it? i dare myself to try make it. well, it was my 1st attempt & the experiment didn't turn out well. u r supposed to eat serabai with its own kuah serawa (like pengat durian/pisang) but i didn't have durian/pisang at home so i substitute them with butter, jam & chocolate spread. (entah apa2 entah! lebih baik buat pancake je kan lebih senang & sesuai. pfffttt!!). so as a conclusion, i prefer the normal pancake. haziq didn't like the serabai i made as well. he juz had 1 (unfinished) and said, "mama, apesal this pancake tak sedap eh?" sheeesh!!!

look at that rascal's face! the 'hmmm-tak-sedap-aaaa' face!

anyway.. for lunch i cooked ayam masak merah, steamed siakap & fried vege. i bought the chicken from the chicken processing shop so it was so fresh & tastes gooooood! the siakap was ok lah, juz got it from the market but not that fresh. want the steamed siakap recipe? easy peasy..


thai style steamed siakap

ingredients:
1 ekor siakap - basuh & lumur dengan air asam utk buang hanyir
2" halia - hiris halus
5 ulas bawang putih - hiris halus
1 btg serai - hiris2
1-2 biji tomato - potong dadu
1 sdB oyster sos - campur air & gula sikit
1-2 biji limau nipis - perah jus dia
daun sup

1. gaul ikan dengan garam. tabur2 kan halia, bawang putih & serai. steam for 25 minutes.
2. taburkan tomato & curah oyster sos mix. continue to steam for 5 minutes.
3. curah jus limau. cuba rasa masam manis masin. tambah apa yg patut. continue to steam for 3 minutes.
4. tutup api & tabur2 kan daun sup.

try it. it's lazat & healthy.

for dinner we just had bread & finish off lunch leftovers. haziq asked for red velvet cupcakes but it was nite time already when he asked & we had to go out to shop for some groceries. *if u notice, haziq ni memang kuat makan. very demanding & choosy. a die hard fan of desserts, like me..*
ok lah, the next time i make red velvet cupcakes for haziq, i'll post an entry about it and share with u the recipe. traaaa...

one year ago

It is fresh in my mind. the suspense, the moment, the pain, the tears and the happiness..

The suspense.. With my past experience of long labour due to big babies that i breed in my womb, my O&G estimated zarif's weight around 3.7kg 2 weeks b4 due date. So i chose to force him get out of my womb by going thru c-section 2 weeks b4 due date. That morning when the nurse in charged was preparing me for the c-sec, my heartbeat went wild and i was torn. I wanted to chicken out but i didn't wanna gamble and go thru another long labour. "God, is this right? Am i making a wise decision? Is it too late to back off?" Those are the questions that kept on repeating over and over again in my head when the nurse inserted a tube for urinating. And those questions made my heart gone even wilder when the nurse was wheeling me to the OR. it was a whole new experience for me bcoz my other half is not by my side like always.. At that moment, i knew that i made a terrible mistake that i'm gonna regret..

The pain.. i alwiz thot that my tolerance for pain is high. But how was i so wrong to think of that?! The pain of natural labour is great, undoubtfully.. But the painful labour ends immediately when we hear the crying sound of the gift from Allah. I didn't go thru another long labour this time tho, but i had to go thru a long long long post-op pain. The pain that hurt me physically & mentally bcoz i could not handle my baby as easy as it is supposed to be. I was in so much pain mainly bcoz i was having a bad cough that hurt the cut so badly. And my problem is i have low antibody that needs extra shots of medicine to relief me from sickness or pain. I asked for overdosed morphines but the doctor refused to give me what i wanted and gave me pain killers that didn't help that much. Well, that was the price that i had to pay..

The tears.. I cried alot after delivery. Tears of joy, tears of pain..

The happiness.. the painful experiment of my life is all worth it bcoz i have another special gift from Allah s.w.t. Syukur alhamdulillah. I'm so blessed to have such a cutie pie like zarif. He brought so much love, laughters and happiness to me and my family. He completes us. Thank you Allah for giving me this little dimples.

Happy birthday Zarif. Today you're 1. I love you and i'm anxious to raise you. You have been such a good baby, really cuddly and clingy. I feel so blessed and loved. And i love you back...

the 10th month of the little dimples

18th March 2010. that day, i received a wonderfully priceless gift from Allah. the gift that brought loads of excitement, joy & happiness to my family. the gift that we named Ahmad Zarif..

day 1 - zarif, born on 18.3.2010 at 9.03am. weight 3.39kg

....and from that day, his life journey started.

month 1 - march 2010

month 2 - april 2010

month 3 - may 2010

month 4 - june 2010

month 5 - july 2010

month 6 - august 2010

month 7 - september 2010

month 8 - october 2010

month 7 - november 2010

month 9 - december 2010

month 10 - january 2011

zarif, you are my little dimples..

mukhriz vs haziq

mukhriz:

born - 19/11/2002, time - 8.17am, weight - 4.0kg

mukhriz on 29/8/2005

he was my first baby. my pride and joy that gave me a whole new experience in life. he was a really chubby baby with real fair skin and thick hair. he had very low tolerance of pain every time he gets his monthly vaccination. but overall, he was a calm and good baby.. he didn't cry out loud at nights for milk. he just made soft groans whenever he needed feedings.
he's in standard 3 this year, he has grown tall & slim. he's still as calm & gentle. very shy & timid type of person. he doesn't rebel loudly when i say no to his wishes. he cries silently when he's upset. oh mukhriz... you're my big boy now. abang long to both your little brothers. i'm so proud to have such a well-mannered and polite son like you, my dear mukhriz...


haziq:
born - 11/7/2005, time - 11.52pm, weight - 4.05kg

haziq on 28/1/2006

oh haziq, my little apple.. he was born chubby and stays chubby. when he was a baby, he was not like mukhriz. he cried loudly every 2 hours for milk. and the 2 hourly feeding lasts for 4 years! handling him when he was a baby was quite a challenge to me because he was such an active baby. he fell, wounded, bumped, swelled & bleed a lot.
this little rascal of mine is a total opposite of his abang long. he rebels when i don't fulfill his wishes. he'll cry out loud if he doesn't get what he wants. he's talkative, cheeky & jovial. he makes me laugh with his jokes, his funny facial expressions & his silly fictional stories.. home is quiet without him.
he's turning to 6 this year but he's still so clingy and babyish. haziq... you're the everlasting baby of mine.

mukhriz & haziq

31/8/2005

23/1/2006

16/6/2007

18/12/2008

19/3/2009

5/3/2010

i love you dearly, mukhriz & haziq....

zarif

anak bongsu le katakan, asik ambik gambau dia je le...

little dimples ku

suka tido meniarap

boleh duduk tapi tak reti duduk sendiri

dah ada gigi 4 batang

toothfairy oh toothfairy...

haziq's first experience of losing his tooth! it happened last 2 days. (that tooth has been shaking for a week or so.), he was trying to open eclipse mints with his teeth then suddenly... ploooop!! his tooth came off. he was such a brave boy bcoz he didnt panic, didnt cry or whatsoever although blood was all over his right palm and that lucky tooth was on his left palm. he juz came to me and said: "mama, my gigi patah".. now my little apple is officially a client of miss toothfairy... :)

5 months

5 months ago, i gave birth to a wonderful baby that we named Zarif. he was born 3.39kg, the smallest amongst my 3 children. time flies so fast, he's so big now. today he's 9kg.

he can now turn, laugh out loud & sit in a baby chair. and the latest thing that i notice yesterday is that he's got teeth, 2 tiny teeth.. what a wonderful priceless gift that Allah gave me and my family.

my little dimples. syukur alhamdulillah...

my little dimples

my little fella here has grown bigger and bigger & he's really huggable.
hugging him gives a real pleasure to me.
i love my baby!!

zarif, 4 months 10 days today...

my little apple

terlambat nak cerita pasal my little apple's bday. actually bday dia 11 july haritu. dah besar dah dak haziq.. we celebrated his bday on the 10th at my parents' house. ordered cupcakes from a friend in melaka. last minit order, nasib baik ada yg sanggup nak buat. on his bday, bawak dia gi main2 kat arcade.


on monday, bwk cupcakes pegi school & nyanyi2 with his frens. he was so happy bcoz papa bought a toycar for him, a miniature skyline. and my fren yang buat cupcakes tu prezen kan dia a big remote control car.. punya lah kembang kuncup dak haziq dapat prezen tu!

haziq's lucky pipi

berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu yang memikul.
aku pernah cerita apa sebenarnya yang jadi pada haziq 3 tahun lepas, kecuaian maid mak aku yang telah menyebabkan kerosakan kekal pada pipi kanan haziq.

dulu dia tak faham. tapi sekarang bila dia dah besar & dia dah faham bila org tanya kenapa dgn muka dia, dia mula rasa annoyed & tak selesa. lepas mandi, dia sapu lotion kat pipi dia, dia kata biar pipi dia cantik..
hati aku betul2 tersentuh bila pada satu hari haziq tanya aku samada mama sayang tak pada dia walaupun pipi dia tak mcm pipi zarif.
dengan hati yang sgt2 sebak, aku yakinkan haziq, aku sayang kat dia no matter how he looks like & betapa dia beruntung dapat pipi mcm tu sbb takde org lain yg ada pipi mcm tu kat school kecuali dia je. so, we call it his 'Lucky Pipi'...


aku & zizi tak sanggup nak memikirkan kalau haziq kena ejek dgn kawan2 bila dia mula sekolah standard 1 nanti. aku tak nak bila dia kena ejek, dia akan rasa demotivated atau benci nak pergi sekolah. so, kitorang bawak haziq pergi jumpa plastic surgeon utk dapatkn nasihat & pendapat.
2 org surgeon nasihatkan utk jgn buat surgery sbb keadaan kulit dia sekarang adalah apa yg diorang harapkan utk setiap reconstructive surgery yg diorg buat utk patients yg betul2 ada critical injuries. kalau buat surgery pd haziq, result after surgery maybe lagi teruk daripada condition sekarang. so, aku buat masa ini redha dgn keadaan & cuba bio oil utk baikkan scar haziq. hopefully semakin dia besar, semakin baik lah scar kat lucky pipi dia....

pokok pangkalnya, tuhan aje yg tau mcm mana aku rasa sekarang ni. tapi, aku kena think positif so that haziq akan sentiasa rasa happy dgn his Lucky Pipi..

life has been miserable!!

it's been so long since i last throw some words in my blog. a lot of things happened the past few weeks. good things, bad things, happy news, bad news... the colors of life.

we celebrated zizi's bday last month 30/7/2009. i gave him a surprise bday present, a racing car seat to pair his existing seat, he liked it so much. besides a surprise for him, i got a wonderful surprise for myself and the family too! we are having a new member in the clan soon!! (^_^)
what a wonderful surprise..
well, that explains all the laziness and my scrabbled-mood for the past few weeks.
now i have a good reason to get fat! woohoo...

that's the good part. now the bad part, the whole family have been sick. fever, flu, cough, sore throat! and the worst thing that happened was both my children, mukhriz & haziq had to be admitted at pantai hospital. mukhriz : confirmed Influenza A positive!! haziq : negative but advised to be treated. haziq's case went worse because his chest x-ray result showed that his lungs has fluids (due to bad asthma) & the doctor said that haziq needs extra attention and treatment to make sure that he won't get pneumonia! God knows how i felt that time.
i became brave like a warrior although inside i felt so scared,
i became strong although inside i felt so weak,
i became energetic although inside i felt so so tired.
i had to fight all negative feelings for the sake of my 2 boys.

thank Allah for giving me and zizi strength and not giving us unbearable sickness, so we could take care of our children at the hospital every second, every minute, everyday for 5 days. my children are now healthy and happy again & they are really happy to be back at home.

"syukur alhamdulillah, ujian yang Allah berikan dapat aku tempuh dengan kesabaran. aku redha segala apa yang berlaku & bersyukur semuanya berakhir dengan kebaikan..."

happy birthday haziq!!

yesterday, 11th july 2009 was haziq's 4th bday.

i ordered 2 sets of bday cupcakes, 1 for him to celebrate at school with friends on friday 10/7, and the other 1 for the party at mak's house yesterday. we did a small bday bash for haziq at mak's house and it was fun & happening!! thx to all my loving family members for joining.. haziq got alot of wonderful bday presents from his cousins. car & bubble gun (from ateh's kids : ael, yaya & mimi), hot wheel track & car (from alang's kids : adlan, hakim, adlina & anas), bakugan (from uda's kids : alya, husna, muaz & hana), ben10 cap (from cikjerd's baby : adrian) !!

i can't believe that my lil bumblebee is now 4?! it feels like just yesterday that i gave birth to a chubby baby, and now he's 4! haziq, i want you to know that you are such a wonderful and special boy that Allah sent to me, papa & your abang, and i'm really thankful and happy to have you in my life! u complete our little happy family...

**my lil bumblebee**

ladies and gentlemen!!

allow me to introduce you to the one & only bumblebee in da house.... (drum rolls*****)

HAZIQ AZIZI!!!

kisahnya, si kemetot sorang ni wants mama to write about him. mana aci kan, mama citer pasal abang je.. 'where's my picture? where's my picture?'. when i showed him the previous pictures in my previous posts, he says.. 'no...! i want a lot lot picture...'

so this post is dedicated to my one and only baby haziq! he's not a baby anymore but i still call him 'mama's baby' coz he's so manja, cheeky & clingy..

haziq, masa dia betul2 baby..

ok, let's recap about HAZIQ............

al-kisah.. back in 2005, the date was 11th july, haziq was born at Pantai Hospital Ayer Keroh melaka at 11.52pm. weighing 4.05kg, i safely delivered him the normal way after 12 painful hours in labour room. when my doctor put him on my tummy, i said to myself, 'oooh, kali ni anak aku mendung sikit kaler dia.. tapi takpe lah.. asalkan dia selamat & cukup sifat, syukur alhamdulillah...'

then, zizi pergi azan kan haziq.. and the nurses sent me to my room. memang tak boleh nak tidur la kan after giving birth.. same as the first labour, after delivering the baby, penat gila pun, mata tak nak tido. i think bcoz of the excitement that my belly is finally freeee, and the baby's safely born.. excited gila nak first feed the baby, wanna let him taste the healthy and fresh colostrum. tunggu punya tunggu punya tunggu.. baby tak sampai2... dalam pada tak dapat tido tu, sedar2, dah terang. (oh, terlelap jugak aku rupanya... kononnya langsung tak boleh tido!!). then came a chief misi with a bunch of nursing students, chief nurse tu dok ajar2 diorg entah apa2 agaknya, then i asked her abt my baby... 'oh, didn't the doctor tell you?'

WHAAAATTTTTT????!!! of coz lah aku terkejut beruk kan.. dah lah baru lepas beranak, emotionally unstable, in pain & hurt after getting a lot of stitches! rupa2nya haziq kena oxygenized sbb leher dia terbelit tali pusat... no wonder he looks 'mendung'.. rupanya blood capilaries dia burst sebab tercekik.. kesiannya anak aku...

but the tiny red blood spots all over his face and body slowly faded & by 3 weeks after he was born, his skin colour became fairer and fairer. so that's about haziq when he was born..

i used to send both haziq & mukhriz to my parents' house. my parents ada 2 maids, indah & milah. indah's in charged of cooking, laundry and housekeeping. milah, takes care of my grandma & housekeeping jugak sikit2. the kids selalunya milah yang jaga bcoz indah selalunya bz buat laundry.. so, my daily routine masa tu is, pagi: send the kids to parents - then: go to work - petang: pick them and go home. that routine started since mukhriz, sampailah ke haziq..

until one day... in February 2007, hari tu mcm hari2 biasa. the kids mmg suka pergi 'mak's house', as they call it. that evening when i came back from work to pick the kids, milah kata the kids ikut my parents pergi kedai kejap. then, i asked zizi to go back to office bcoz i forgot to bring back work that i wanna finish at home. so we went back to office to pick the document.
on our way back to mak's house, masa tu at klebang kechil area, which is about 5 minutes away from mak's house, i got a fone call from mak's house. it was milah, crying and said, 'Kak win, balik cepat. haziq kena iron!!!' dalam hati aku masa tu, 'ya allah, biarlah kena kat tangan ke, kaki ke.. jangan la kena kat muka..'

sampai je mak's house, i jumped out of the car & looked for haziq, and....

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IRON KENA MUKA!!!! :'(

tuhan aje yang tau perasaan aku masa tu. sedih, risau, takut, marah! tak tentu arah aku dibuatnya. haziq's right cheek, the whole cheek!!! the sadness and anger feeling that i felt back then is still fresh in my heart that made me teary everytime i think abt that incident. sampai sekarang, bila aku teringat aje incident tu, aku rasa menyesal sgt2 patah balik to office to get that darn document!!! kenapa haziq? kenapa bukan aku yang kena?

the dark memories of February 2007....

zizi banyak nasihat aku untuk bersabar & redha dgn apa yang berlaku, itu semua takdir & ketentuan Allah yang kita mesti terima. but both of us still try to find ways to repair his skin. we went for consultations & most of the surgeons don't advice for operation yet. he's too small to cope with post-op care & procedures. takpe lah... kita sapu je lah scar gel yg doctor bagi. sekarang, 2 years after that incident, the redness on his cheeks fades bit by bit..

lagipun, no matter how big the scar on his cheek, he's still the cutest boy on earth to me and he'll always be mama's baby!!

and i always tell him that he's extraordinary & special bcoz no one else in his school has that kind of cheek.. and that makes him a special boy...

so both zizi and i have decided to just leave the cheek alone for now, and let's hope & see if it's gonna get better and better.. until he's ready and grow big enough to go for further procedures...

to reduce the redness and skin overforming,

everynight for about 1 year+, i had to paste 'cica care' on his cheek.

syukur alhamdulillah, the redness fades and the overformed skin subsides

sikit demi sikit..

kisah malang dak haziq ni bukan berakhir setakat iron hinggap ke muka...

25/01/2009, masa tu kat rumah, dalam the kids' room. entah macammana, haziq jatuh from their double decker bed. bukannya dari katil atas pun, but from the 1st step of the stairs. dia jatuh & badan dia terhempap his left hand!! masa tu, dia nangis teruk sangat & he fell asleep after dipujuk2 & minum susu. masa dia tidur, i noticed that left elbow dia bengkak & looks kinda different. bila dia bangun, dia nangis teruk sgt & kata tangan dia tak boleh gerak.. punya lah aku cuak masa tu.. bergegas lah ke putra specialist hospital accident & emergency department.
berdebar-debar tunggu x-ray result, mintak2 sgt tak de kes patah riuk..
then came the nurse and once again...

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PATAH! shit happens, i have to admit but.. haziq? again??!! my poor little baby..

maka bersimen lah tangan si kemetot sorang ni for a month. (tapi aksi seram ganas dia masih berkekalan walaupun hanya dengan sebelah tangan yang berfungsi!!), biasa lah.. nama pun HAZIQ!!

haziq oh haziq.....

hong kong disneyland, march 2009...

yaay!! haziq is turning to 4 this saturday (11/7/09), and we're gonna make a family gathering to celebrate his bday. a small party for my little baby at mak's house. i ordered colourful cupcakes for him from Babycakes. i told him about the cupcakes for his bday and he's so excited about it! hopefully the cupcakes are gonna be exactly like what i described them to haziq!